what men think women love to be called:
what women ACTUALLY like to be called:
- lamp shade
- broken chair
- Samuel L Jackson
- dirty dish rag
- Joe Biden
- what to heck
if anyone ever calls me ‘samuel l jackson’ as a pet name i will straight up kiss them in the street
the best part about being the little spoon while cuddling is being able to rub your butt against the person’s junk
The best part about being the big spoon while cuddling is getting to rub your junk against the person’s butt
The best part about the big spoon as that it lets me get bigger portions of ice cream as I cry alone in my room.
what if we’re all characters in a book
WHAT IF WHEN YOU FORGET WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY IT’S THE AUTHOR BACKSPACING
guys why isn’t everyone reblogging this it’s a scientific breakthrough
and when you’ve had a sense that you’ve been through a certain day or moment before, it’s cuz the author is re-writing the same part of the story, just with better context
Dude, my author fucking sucks.
i get bloody noses a lot and i can usually feel it about 30 seconds before it starts dripping. today in class my nose started to bleed. but right before, I turned to this very religious boy who sits next to me and whispered “hail satan” as my nose started to drip. he freaked and fell back and hit his head. he had to go home for the rest of the day.